Do you still read this blog? Are you an old friend? I feel so disconnected from this blog, from my old friends, from Iran. My life is revolving around other things: science, photography, music, memory, sports, shoes!!
What have I to say? That the IRI's found a solution to population control: executing one convict every eight hours? Yes, some are political too. Often Kurds; those whom the rest of "land-worshipping" Iranians don't really care about; those whom we don't really know, because their language and race, perhaps the 'purest' of the Persians, is hardly ever taught to us, hardly ever promoted --DESPITE THE FACT that they have given us some of our best musicians.
Or, talk about sanctions? What they are doing or not? Sanctions won't do much other than bringing more airplanes down; killing more people in the hospitals; and making some smuggler in Iran, some dealer in Dubai, and some arms-pimp in Israel or Saudi Arabia richer!
No Sanctions won't lead to a "revolution"; Iranians are not the people to risk death because they are hungry; they never have. Iranian uprisings have never been because of economics. Believe me the country HAS seen plenty of hunger .. after all, this is a harsh land, where water is and has always been scarce. There have been and continue to be droughts. People are used to living on little. And people are ashamed to announce their poverty, it is just part of the culture. Generosity is part of the culture. Keeping up the appearance is part of the culture. So, don't hold your breath!
Or should I talk about the Prince who killed himself in cold blood in the solitude of his Harvard education in Boston? The prince, who was much better looking and better educated than the older brother who has been dominating our monarch scenario despite his utter lack of persona and charisma, and his obvious plentitude of stupidity and apathy.
Or maybe I should talk about good things that are happening ... it is irresponsible to portray Iran as a depressed and regressing society, just because its lawyers and human and labour right activists and journalists and filmmakers are in jail! No, like any dictatorship, there are a few who are plucked, the trouble makers. And the rest are given opportunities. If you are willing to pay the price of complicity, you can actually do good things in Iran; for Iran. (I have to dig to give examples, but I don't want to rummage through dirt to find gems.)
So you see, my silence is because I am STUCK! I don't know what to say about my country. In some ways, I have abandoned it. In some ways I am "In Search of the Times Lost" these days; I am tracing my memories back, my old friends, my childhood, I am trying to make sense of them all, make sense of what we were 30 years ago and what we have grown up to become as 40 year old men and women.
Knowing the psych of my fellow Iranians, I have stopped worrying: things will not go terribly bad. What I feared a while back, fear of civil war, is now subsiding as well. But things will not get terribly good either. In other words, Iran will have more of the same, more of the same that it has had in the past 100 years. For a society as Old as Iran, things are not as plastic as one political activist may wish them to be. There are personality and adaptation traits that have become our national haplotype!
What is depleting my blog of material, however, is the emptiness of the cultural scene in Iran these days. The vibrant and creative community that was emerging a couple of years ago is now terribly oppressed or depressed (or sub-pressed, i.e. moved to netherground!). Many artists have exiled themselves; and many who have stayed behind have to put up with the fascists who are the foot-soldiers of the Ahmadinejad camp. In brief, things are turning 'ugly', in an aesthetic sense.
I may have to change the direction of my blog ... I may have to turn it into something more personal, something where I can write "my" story ... after all, I belong to the generation of self-narratives; the author has died and our "reality" may be the most illuminating of political narratives to share.
I have been mesmerized by
Marina Abramovic recently ... If she can put herself in flesh on display, and let her spectators DO to her what their (in)humanity is (in)capable of; then why not I put my "virtual" self up for sharing. Perhaps, my neo-resistance must adapt too; must circumvent the boring and annoying scenario that Ahmadinejad's forced upon us?
So I am thinking ... If you read this, say hello. I am terribly lonely these days.